


then the stars don't even matter

by storypaint (possibilityleft)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/F, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-25 18:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilityleft/pseuds/storypaint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mai loves Azula more, in the end. <em>She remembers the laughter of a little girl teasing, and Azula's grip, always a little too strong.  She sees the flash of gold in the darkness.  She counts lucid moments.  She talks back so rarely that she begins to wonder if she could lose the ability to speak, and what would happen then.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	then the stars don't even matter

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [doomed ship comment ficathon](http://anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com/760101.html?thread=12218917#t12218917): Avatar: The Last Airbender, Azula/Mai, black and gold. AU for the end of the series. Somewhat dark.

When Zuko came back to Mai and said his quest was done, his succession guaranteed, he didn't mention the price right away. He let her fingers brush the heat of his injury, let her lean in and smell the smoke-ash-frightened sweat of him. His heart still raced with adrenaline.

And then he said, "My sister..."

And that's when Mai realized which of Ozai's children she loved more. He staggered with the slap, began shouting over her, and the fifth time he said, "Mai, I had no _choice_ , you should have seen her--!"; she interrupted.

"I should have been there. You're right."

She clutched at a knife that had slipped into her fingers without conscious thought. His eyes darted to her hand, almost panicked, and that was when she turned around, flung the blade into the doorframe, and left.

Now, she sits here, feeling a coldness that seeps into her bones and requires her to get up every five minutes or so to warm her limbs. She stretches her fingers and lets herself wonder if this is all worth it. Azula shrieks at Mai's easy movements, straining at her own restraints. She doesn't have to be moved because she hardly stops when she's awake. Sometimes she's asleep when Mai visits, but even then, she's restless.

"Ty Lee gave up her individualism to join those warriors we impersonated," she tells Azula, voice dry with amusement. "She's always been such a bubblehead."

Azula laughs, and for a moment, her face gains its old glow. Mai doesn't allow herself to hope. After a moment, Azula starts mumbling again, taunts to Zuko, queries to her father, and the perpetual threats of banishment.

And Mai sits down and leans against the bars. she shuts her eyes, looking bored, and listens.

*

Her parents say that her impropriety hurts her father's political career. She goes down to the government office and renounces them officially, with all the stamps and and seals and signatures. Tom-Tom waves at her when she brings the form to them. She doesn't wave back.

The Avatar is completely obnoxious in his optimism, but he likes what Mai is doing and arranges for her to have a small apartment nearby, and a little bit of money to live on. It's not much, but it's better than working. Mai eats food she makes herself, which is completely disgusting, and wonders if this is worth it.

She remembers the laughter of a little girl teasing, and Azula's grip, always a little too strong. She sees the flash of gold in the darkness. She counts lucid moments. She talks back so rarely that she begins to wonder if she could lose the ability to speak, and what would happen then.

She decides not to find out, and she drinks awful foreign tea when she visits the waterbender who helped put Azula in this state. The idea angers her, but she knows Katara's reputation as a healer. The girl's heart is much less forgiving than Aang's.

"Don't you get it? She never loved you," Katara says, scowling into her own tea.

Mai nods. "But she needs someone to love her," she points out.

Katara doesn't answer, just stares in disbelief. As politely as her anger allows her, she refuses to try healing Azula.

*

Zuko never visits, which is just fine with Mai. She isn't sure what she'd do. She hears from a guard who thinks she might be interested that the Firelord has concerned himself with finding his mother.

 _Zuzu always was a mama's boy_ , Azula mocks inside Mai's head. Mai goes home in the evenings, but the memories come with her. They fight with her for space in her uncomfortable single bed. It's almost a relief to drag herself to the prison during the day and see Azula in person.

The days all look alike. The guards know Mai by name. Zuko brings Ursa home in honor and neither of them visit their lost relatives.

(Iroh comes once, but when he tries to give Mai advice about moving on, Mai can't hear Azula talk, so she asks him to leave. He does.)

It's probably mid-week, probably mid-afternoon, when Azula wakes from anguished dreams and focuses, hawk-eyed, on Mai's presence on the chair outside her cell. Mai says nothing. Azula begins to comb her fingers through her matted hair, not an easy task in her restraints.

"Well, Mai?" she says. "You haven't been providing much gossip recently. How will I know what to watch for when I break out of here?"

"You won't know," Mai answers. "That's part of the challenge."

Azula's lip curls, full and triumphant. Mai sighs but her heartbeat speeds up.

"We couldn't take over something smaller first, could we?" she asks. Azula creeps closer to the bars and shoves her wrists against them. Mai picks a blade out of her hairbun and starts working at the locks.

"Go big or go home," Azula says, flexing her wrists. Mai looks down and smiles at her chest.

"We're home," Mai says, "so I guess we're going big."

Azula takes the blade when Mai is done with the cuffs and uses it to carefully shear the dead ends from her hair. Mai offers a hair tie. Azula pulls her hair up, and though a few strands escape clumsily, Azula's confidence makes her beautiful in the same way her own fire glows - a dangerous, gaunt beauty that Mai is hopeless against. She only resisted once, and here they are.

"I live in an ugly hut near here," Mai says. "The Avatar was generous." She rolls her eyes. "We can grab supplies and then find somewhere to hide and plan."

"I knew you wouldn't leave me," Azula croons, and when she steps out of the cell she drags Mai down to her knees and gives her a dry kiss on the forehead. Mai doesn't protest, though she frowns at the dragging.

"I know better," Mai answers. She doesn't tell Azula that she loves her, because the princess would see that as another invitation to manipulation.

Azula smiles, warming her hands in the folds of Mai's dress before blasting a hole in the wall.

Mai follows.


End file.
